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Plus: Why is Madonna interviewing lap dancers?

When late-night host Jimmy Kimmel asked Cyrus to tell him, on a scale of one to 10, how happy he was to be off the show — with ten being happiest — Cyrus quickly exclaimed “Ten!”

Cyrus claimed that from day one he felt that he didn’t belong on the high-steppers’ show.

“I’m a singer, songwriter and musician,” he said, though he added, of course, that he was grateful for the experience.

Dress you up in not much
Madonna has taken a break from helping orphans in Africa to focus on another area of interest: lap dancers.

The Material Girl was spotted at a London girlie club called Secrets, auditioning lap dancers for her next project — rumored to be a short film.

Wearing oversized glasses, a button-down shirt and trousers, and toting a take-out cup of coffee, Madonna asked the dancers to read from a script before they showed her their moves.

Notes from all over
Helen Mirren wants to make it clear: she didn’t dis the Queen. The queen’s aides are said to have been outraged — and some British citizens weren’t too happy, either — after it was reported that the British actress snubbed an invitation to dine with the Queen. Mirren’s rep says that the actress, who won an Oscar for her portrayal of the monarch, would have loved to have accepted the invite, but she couldn’t get away from South Dakota, where she’s shooting “National Treasure: Book of Secrets.” “All attempts were made to accommodate Her Majesty’s request,” according to Mirren’s rep, “but a very challenging and uncompromising production schedule in South Dakota, complicated further by poor weather and locked-in locations, made this impossible.” The statement went on to note that Mirren has “only the greatest admiration and respect for the Queen.” ... Gisele Bundchen was spotted dropping $400 on boy’s baby clothes at Bel Bambini, a chic new Los Angles baby boutique. The model has denied buzz that she’s pregnant or planning to become that way, so it must have been for a friend or relative. ... When Entertainment Weekly asked new age guru Deepak Chopra who he’d most like to teach to meditate, he responded: “George W. Bush. So he can stop being at war with himself.” And when the mag asked Chopra what person he is most often mistaken for, he said it was the late rapper Tupac Shakur — because people think their names sound similar. “When he was gunned down,” Chopra explained, “we had a lot of condolence messages at my office.”